hay nde ako natuloy sa dentist last friday coz puyat ako and nde pwede mabunutan. i went back early this morning to finally have my tooth extracted (yes shala pareho talaga tayo, nde kaya ng powers ko ang root canal). akala ko makakatakas na ko sa dentist kong mahilig talagang mag-save ng ngipin. sabi ko bunot na! sabi nya, kung sure na. sabi ko oo.

sabay pasok na kami sa hightech na clinic. i always get impressed sa mga thingys ng mga dentist. pinakita nya sa kin sa TV kung ano itsura ng ngipin ko. sabi nya "tignan mo, buong-buo pa yung ngipin mo. nasira lang yung tanggal na na filling before." sabi ko bunot na para tapos na at nde ko talaga kaya ata ang root canal. i never experienced that pero accd to a lot of people masakit sya. 2 lang ata nagsabing nde. ay 3 pala kasama yung dentist ko. sabi nya since ayaw ko talaga, gagawin na lang nya yung new thing sa pagtreat ng ganung case. semi-root canal kung baga. promise nde masakit yung ginawa pero after...anakng! nun ko lang na-experience ang ganung sakit sa ngipin. may pagka-hightech nga sya and na-save pa rin yung ngipin ko. naka-2 tig 500mg na gamot ako at 30minutes before naka-recover. feel ko high na ko kaya nakatulog ako. ibang klase! nde ako makakain. ang hirap matulog. ang hirap magsalita. i dont think i can go to work later =(

im on leave tomorrow. im having a tooth extracted. im not afraid of the dentist really except when the dentish insist that i have a root canal. i'd rather have it removed! i know it will create spaces between my very sensitive teeth but i'd rather have it removed than feel the pain of root canal.

i've been meaning to update my website and the release of dreamweaver 8 inspired me to do so. so many nice features! i love the xslt =) will update soon!

for the meantime...taba ko na noh?

funny. while eating dinner, nagkwekwentuhan kami tungkol sa nung bata pa si bart. sabi ng mommy nya "hay nako. lagi ako pinapatawag sa school. alam mo yung susulat ng alphabet? yung paulit-ulit na a,b,c? naku, susulat lang daw nyan isang beses tapos ayaw na. kasi paulit-ulit lang" at syempre lolo mo, deny. sabi pa ng mommy nya "ayaw nyan nagpapahatid sa school. kung ihahatid, bababa na ng kotse isang kalye before lourdes (qc). ewan ko ba, nakakantyawan siguro"

promise. natawa ko.

edsamail employees semi-reunion kanina at mcdonalds emerald (through the kind heart of margot who's connected with mcdo now)

it was nice and fun to see old friends. they all said the same thing...i lost so much weight and im blooming (am i?). people who went:

MRU (loud and big as ever! my orig daddy)
edrik
margot
tina (yes...as pretty as ever)
jayjay
clea
toto (gay as ever)
robert
carol
patrick
cez (loyal to margot pa rin)
tessa
nina (the hot mama, who still looks hot!)
jenny
erwin (he lost some weight and gwapo na sya hehehe)
junji
carlo (who helped host the party)
jeff (si diego!)
vincent (praning pa rin)
barok
cliff
robert (badong. ang laki pa rin ng tyan!)
john
me and bart (of course...)
and some na na-hire after we left =)


sayang walang representative ang the geeks of R&D. si erwin lang hehe and nagtawanan talaga lahat nun nagpakitaan ng mga old pics and mga edsamail things like yung clock, pins, CDs. tessa even have her edsamail id. kulet noh? it was nice to see them all again. i dont know some people there...i think yung mga dumating after we left. like sa CS, si christian. crush ko talaga si christian hahaha he's one of the CS guys. sayang nde kami nag-abot hahaha pero he's nice. think ryan agoncillo na matangkad. san ka pa di ba? hihihi i have a crush!

they asked about nelson, roselle (yes mamu tina says hi), bing and yung iba na wala na sa pilipinas. they'll plan another get-together daw and MRU will sponsor it naman next time.

i am depressed beyond grief. worried and i dont know how to face each day. there's so many things going on right now and it seems like there's no way that i can get out of the hole that im in right now. many people said that life's a wheel. you can never be always at the bottom. you're bound to be up there.

if that is true, then i'd like to complain that the wheel moved so slow when i was at the bottom and too fast when i was on top. i only experieced short moment of joy and long periods of being down.

i know we are responsible for our own happiness but i can't find mine right now. it's weird to have these feelings and i wish that i could turn back the clock...even for just a couple of months. it would make a big difference.

but i can't. i have to live with the compounded mistakes i've made. there's no turning back now. all i can do is try to make something out of nothing. i pray for His guidance. i am very thankful that i live to see each day but it also pains me to be in such situation.

i dont know how long i should carry this burden. i promise myself to do something about it and i will...