i am back...im so happy i cant really explain the feeling. first of, im just glad i made it through labor and actually giving birth. i was texting ina the mother bear about my experience.

november 22, bart decided not to go to work and just stay at home with me. he slept through the whole day and i was just watching TV. then around 2am, he woke up saying he's kinda hungry. i got up to take a leak and there...may blood na! it's the show! i told him we better go to the hospital na which is a good 40minute drive without traffic at that time in the morning. i called my OB and she sent instructions to the ER in the hospital. went through the usual and was admitted to my room. contractions were moderate and happening every 3 minutes. i didn't actually know na contraction na pala yun. i am a little tolerant when it comes to pain. around 4am when the contractions where really starting to get stronger, the nurse who was constantly checking on me decided to bring me na to the labor room. and that's where all the pain in the world happened!

there was another girl in the labor room. she's been there for 12 hours already. she cant be allowed to do anything because her water bag broke the night before so she basically had to stay there but there was no contraction unlike with me.

she was crying and shouting because of the pain. and like me, she hated IE. i dont know what's wrong with that hospital but majority of their resident OB's are male. as in. i got checked by 3 different male OB's but hey...wala ng hiya-hiya to!

the other lady did epidural. i was crying and didnt know what to do inside the labor room. all the nurses, the nice guy OB who stayed with my 24 hours, and even the interns took turn holding my hands. they all asked if im going to have a painless delivery but the head nurse commented that my OB, dr. carandang who our family loves, doesn't like performing painless delivery unless really needed.

so there. no epidural. highly recommended by every mommy i talked to even hospital attendants but i did survive.

ganito yun eh

"sige ire na! pag nde ka nagpush, ma-CS ka pa"
"eh doc nde ako marunong! nde nyo pa ko tinuturuan!"
"ay tatadyakan kita pag nagpa-CS ka. kaya mo yan! sige hinga ng malalim sabay push. dont shout ha"

on the fourth push...lumabas na sya. i saw the cord which was nakapalupot pala sa kanya kaya nde sya bumababa. after that, narinig ko na lang..."valium" then nagising na lang ako sa recovery room. the OBs and nurses were still there and they were all smiling at me (pinagtatawanan siguro ako) at pinahirapan ko daw sila!

im so happy he's with us now =) kahit iyakin...ok lang!







we have better photos but i have resized them yet. next time!!!

no. i havent given birth yet but i have started my maternity leave already. a little too early for some but it really is hard to go to work specially with the schedule that i have. the baby moves around a lot which is a good sign but it also makes things hard for me. im ok with it. it means he's ok.

im trying to do some last minute ek-eks na coz i know i wont be able to do them after i give birth. goodluck kung makalabas ako ng bahay.

hay what to do what to do

errr something's wrong with my tagboard. i plan to fix it but im not in the mood.

ok so we're just waiting for a few more weeks then its baby time!!! i haven't completed the things on my shopping list yet but eventually we'll have everything we need. i actually have a lot on the list. detailed and branded hehehe i know its really not good to buy expensive stuffs but it's gonna be worth it. i mean the avent or dr.brown feeding bottle i want may be four times the price of regular feeding bottles but they are the most recommended non-colic bottles. it's hard when a baby has "kabag" hard for them to sleep.

hay i really am excited!!! cant wait!!!

hay cant believe the bagyo. nilipad ang bubong ng garahe namin buti na lang walang tinamaan.

on other news, i failed to get an approval for my tourist visa so my dream of giving birth in the states is all but a dream now. bad trip di ba but that's not the mother of all badtrip things that could possibly happen which i dont feel like telling anyone anyways.

my brother went home for a week from his work in singapore (hi ryan!) and may dalang second hand phone na mura lang! bilhan nyo ko hehehe

in 9 weeks or less, i'd be giving birth to a handsome babyboy. ngayon pa lang alam kong pogi sya so walang magrereklamo. i plan to go on leave start pa lang ng november and will be back sometime january. i will post pics of my little bebe boy pag lumabas na sya =) i am excited and scared at the same time. i cant imagine a baby coming out of me.

and i need to diet. i've gained some weight which is still on the normal scale but for some weird reason, evrything i eat goes directly to the baby. as in ang laki ng tyan ko. oh well...sana lang wag ako mahirapan manganak.

dont forget your gifts! hehehe

hihihi ano pa bang bago? wala naman. lasrt friday, fish ek-ek namin here in the office. retro night pala...



and i came in as hamburglar hahaha









more pics at http://photos.yahoo.com

WE'RE HAVING A BOY! Yes! After two weeks of postponing it, I finally went to the hospital for an ultrasound. For 30mins we waited 'til the little boy showed his you-know-what. I'm on my 26th week according to my OBs calculation and the first ultrasound but last week, the person in the lab said that my baby is as big as a 28-29 week baby. Laki nya talaga but I'm ok with that for as long as he's healthy =)

Grabe, in just a few weeks the little one will be finally with us. I'm scared as hell! I don't know if I'm ready! I know I'm not ready! I don't think there's enough books or resources out there that could prepare me for this.

I worry about a lot of things. I've heard stories about couple's relationships changing when a baby comes because their attention and affection shifts to the baby. That's just a minor thing. What really worries me is if I'll be able to take good care of the little one. I really hope that we'll be able instill the good values that our parents thought us. I hope that he would appreciate the things that we would be doing for him. That he grow up as a God-fearing person who respects the elders, love his family, and be a good citizen. Too much expectations ba? I just hope we'll be good parents to him. We will try our very best.

Grabe. Nde pa sya lumalabas but this early, we have so many fears. I know this is normal and we'll take it one step at a time. For now, we are praying for a safe and healthy baby and delivery.

Wish us luck!

I've gained weight. Lots of it. It makes me feel so conscious now coz my arms and legs are getting bigger each day. I eat anything/everything! Sabi nila, cover the tummy part and I don't look pregnant pero hello lahat napupunta na sa legs ko. Namamanas na! At parang pansin ko sobrang laki ng tyan ko for 5 ½ months. I'm not complaining for as long as healthy ang baby. Tomorrow's my checkup. Anonfiltered=)





And have I mentioned that Soda gave birth two weeks ago? Yeah I think I did. Still no pictures of the pups kasi when I got the camera from Bart, I forgot to get the charger eh kakagamit lang nya nun when they went to Punta Fuego (for his teams strategic planning ek-ek) so halos wala ng bat yung camera but I was able to take some photos of Sachi =) ang cute cute na nya!!!

hay

waist line = 34 (dati 25)
weight = 120 lbs (dati 100)

muka na kong balyena and ngayon ko lang na-experience yung talagang pagiisipan mo kung anong isusuot mo. i made the mistake of wearing a maternity pants that i bought earlier. ok naman yung fit standing up but kinda constricting on some areas when seated. i hate hate that feeling. pero syempre nasa office na ko nun na-notice ko yun.

i can still wear two of my jeans, two black pants, one maternity pants, and the linen drawstrings. ang challenge is also to find a top that looks ok on me without looking like a tree. ewan ko. nde ko carry yung maternity clothes. the nice ones are pretty expensive and i dont want to go on buying clothes which i will not be using for a long time. hay. makapagsando na lang hehehe

work is ok. nakakatamad but ok. life is boring. what activities do you expect from me? dogs are cutest. i still have to take pictures of the puppies. naka-open na eyes nila! life.

kain na.

life, as much as we would like to sugarcoat it, is not as sweet as it is. hay frustrations. im a little lost but surviving.

i found the book that i've been wanting to buy at powerbooks yesterday, diary of a mad mommy to be, and thought about buying it but ended up buying twisted instead. i've read it but i dont have a copy of my own. it was cheaper anyways compared to what i really wanted but im still going back to powerbooks to buy that diary. it might help me get through this weird emotional ekek of pregnancy.

hay speaking of...i really feel my tummy expanding and im afraid that my skin might break. seriously. and it's so hard to find a sleeping position that is comfy and good for me. a friend suggested to get a big bolster pillow but that would add up to the ever growing expenses. hay life nga naman...

oh well.

team building last saturday at kabayan beach resort in san juan, batangas. for the first time, sumama ako hahaha last year sumama din ako eh. ika nga nila, once a year lang ako nakikisali =)

here are some pics (i went swimming in a bikini with my tummy out hahaha) more pictures at http://photos.yahoo.com/jpcastillon under macromedia team building

my latest pictures @ 5 months pregnant





i've gained 20 lbs since getting pregnant. my OB did advised me to eat less rice because i gained 10 lbs since my last checkup which was just 4 weeks ago. please ignore the nose. i never had a nice nose but its bigger than the usual.

i havent been religiously updating my blog lately because of so many things going on right now. add the fact that blogger/blogspot is blocked in our network. well, that really doesnt stop me from getting to blogger since the mac G5 is outside of the firewall. i just dont have anything to say.

work. still the usual. pretty busy with assisting the new hires with their trainings, monitoring calls and emails, and consultations. meetings too eats up most of my time here. then tambay mode =)

soda, we think, is pregnant again and if our calculation is correct she should give birth end of july or first week of august. i really hope the babies will be ok this time. sachi is staying in san juan since bart's maid left three weeks ago. its pretty hard to have the three dogs together. its doesnt help that bart's busy with work that he gets home around 8 or 9 in the evening. you can really count on him to clean the cages.

speaking of bart, his foot will again be operated on this friday (or is it saturday morning). remember the cyst on his toe? its gotten big again and needs operation. it has been operated on twice before the last was just four years ago. the last doctor who operated on it said that they could not remove everything since some are sticking to the bone and they only used local anaesthesia. he will feel the pain if they take it off. so the doctor now will use general anaesthesia (to the spinal) so he would be asleep. scary but i know he'll be ok. i do remember being under general anaesthesia last year for my D&C (raspa po iyon) but it was injected to the IV. prior to that, i was asking the assisting doctors around if it's painful. i guess they thought i was high or something coz they were all smiling at me. i was asked to count to 10. i think i just reached 6 and woke up in the recovery room after 4 hours. i didnt feel anything. the physical pain was finally over. it was the worst feeling of cramps ever. 20 times than the usual plus the fear of losing all your blood because goodness, i've never lost that much blood in my life. grabe.

bact to bart, i really hope that they get to remove all the cyst from his toe.

kaye gave birth last june 8 at chinese general hospital. she was due july 11. baby came in early (only at 36 weeks) and so she had to stay for 6 days in the hospital. it was a normal delivery. it was nice texting kaye and so funny how she recalls the things that happened. sabi nya, nawalan sya ng poise at lahat ng kahinhinan nya sa mundo eh nawala. naalala ko tuloy si soda hahaha seriously. i mean soda gave birth a week early too and kasi feel namin she's too small to handle those many puppies. si kaye naman, syadong maliit to carry the baby and i cant imagine kung san nalagay yung baby =) congrats kaye! sabi ko dapat "joy" name nun baby nya para lumaking mabait, maganda, at matalino. eh pinangalan "zanya ysabelle" ewan ko kung san napulot yung "zanya" or na-mistype lang nya hehehe

i was making a mental list of disappointing things that happened to me recently. the list was long that i lost count already. then i just decided to be thankful im still alive and surviving. so why the sad ek-ek again? i dont know...

i've discovered so many things in the past few months. some made me happy, some made me sad. i dont know. i really dont understand.

and we watched cars =) i loved it!

proud of my teammate! (cleo is another tier 2 of our team. he handles flash escalations. woohoo!)

Macromedia bet Outclasses 459 entries in Photo stint, hails praises from veteran Lensmen

For Cleober Sinues, capturing still life images was just a hobby and a side activity. Never did he realize that his eye for capturing artistic images would lead him to rub elbows with the best photographers in the Philippines and elevate his level of proficiency in the field he loves the most.

Just this afternoon, Cleo bested 459 other entries as he was proclaimed overall winner in the Photography division of the 2nd Philippine Development Innovation Organizational Expo held at the SM Megatrade Hall 1, 2 and 3. Themed "Panibagong Paraan", the event focused on the trends of modern society to improve the lifes of Filipinos all over the country through the promotion of innovative means of livelihood. This event was spearheaded by the World Bank and sponsored by Globe Telecom and the Makati Business Club.

The division featured denizens of distinguished photographers from all over the country vying for top honors and a hefty cash grant to finance the winner's future engagements in photography. Neophyte competitor Sinues landed first on the top 6 after a series of elimination rounds. His "

Sweet Corn Livelihood of Batangas
Raniel Jose M. Castañeda, Quezon City

Thirst For Knowledge

Money On Garbage
Alnoe Tabanera Paler, Cebu City

WUTHLE: Rebuilding Lives after Leprosy
Cleober Sinues, Pasig City

Surfing the Web in Marawi
Bobby Timonera, Iligan City

Instill Life

Cleo, who currently works as a product support engineers for Sykes under a software account wowed the Makati Business team and other media photographers who graced the occasion and was floored with offers from various institutions for Photography. The emotional appeal and the intricacies of his work caught the critical eye of the judges hailing from Globe Telecom, the World Bank and representatives of other government institutions.

One of the judges commented "His work never really made it on the elimination round but we took a 2nd look and we're really convinced this one takes the cake."

The overall winner received a plaque of appreciation, a Nokia phone package and a Fifty Thousand peso grant from the organization.

ang dami ko ng alam about xmen 3 kahit nde ko pa napapanood at syempre, kinukwento ko sa mga tao sa office kaya galit na galit sila sa akin

like...

- cyclops dies. jean killed him
- prof x dies too but transferred his brain (or was it powers) to someone else
- jean becomes the phoenix
- finish the credits there's something special at the end
- wolverine or magneto movie next

hehehe

hawo! musta na kayong lahat? ako, ok naman. gusto ko sana ng ice cream ng dryers mint chocolate chips. ang mahal! 400++ yung isang maliit na feel ko mauubos ko sa isang upuan. oh well...

punta kayo sa http://jmabania.zoto.com/galleries madami akong pictures dyan hehehe
or maybe this fish event that i organized http://tofu.macromedia.com/users/joy/joy/

wala lang...

grabe. naaawa ako sa sarili ko. i only have 100 pesos left and monday pa next payday. how can i be so irresponsible with money? ewan ko ba. i wanted to eat breakfast kanina but since wala na kong money, umuwi na lang akong luhaan. kumain ng kung anong nakita sa bahay at natulog. ganun. grabe talaga.

im not feeling well the past few days but nde naman ako makapag-absent kasi on-leave ng 4 weeks yung kasama kong isa and yung isa naman, laging absent. nakakaluha na lang isipin. andito ka sa trabaho, pagod, may lagnat, pukpok pa sa ginagawa tapos the best dun yung ibang tao iniisip, wala kang ginagawa. astig. ang saya-saya.

kung pwede lang mag-resign, ginawa ko na but i cant. wala akong naipon enough for me to survive. helf!

anywhatwhat, last saturday nagkita kami ng mga barkada ko coz nagbalikbayan yung friend ko from las vegas. some pictures:

wow i've so much to do at work. as in. 10 escalations and still more to come. i get escalations for 3 applications. 2 of which are the highest in volume. so how do i manage those issues? wala. pray hard. yung partner ko sa isang product is on-leave for 3 weeks so that leaves me and me alone to handle these escalations. im jus thankful that we're adding a person to help us out with dreamweaver. thank you!

so what else is new? we're seriously considering moving to the states but of course, easier said than done. i've been talking to people, getting tips from those who crossed the bridge and got there. i am a little worried but there's no turning back.

so john paul, will you marry me? joke! mamya rape-in pa ko nyan hehehe joke lang =)

hay napapagod talaga ako =(

Sige na nga...magkwekwento na ko about ryan's wedding. Maganda sana kung may pictures kaso wala ako.

Church: Christ the King (White Plains. Sosyal)
It was really a good choice. There was air conditioning and I felt like it was very solemn. The group they got to sing (I forgot the name) sa church and reception was good. Nakakapangilabot yung kanta sa church. Si Ryan, feel ko kinakabahan kasi some were late. Pero still trying to keep his pa-cuteness. He was wearing a nice suit by Edward Teng (who had to make lots of adjustments kasi he lost a lot of weight since sukatan) and lahat ng abay ang guest nakabarong naman. Niloloko ko nga si Jay (Ramirez) na dapat sinuot nya yung suit nya nun kasal nila ni Nikky para talbog si Ryan hahaha Nakakatuwa yung mass. Mabait kasi yung pari and lahat ng nakasanayan sa mga kasal dito, sinunod naman nila =)

Reception: Crown Plaza
OK yung place. Nasamahan namin sila Ryan and Candy doon nun naghahanap pa lang sila ng place. Ang sarap ng food! Ang daming food! Buffet! Sayang lang masama tyan ko nun nde ako masyado naka-hataw sa kain. Pero OK lang...ako yung nakakuha ng lahat ng grapes dun sa fruit dessert eklay hahaha binigay sa kin lahat nun nagseserve eh =)

The program was nice and simple. Lahat naman ng tao behaved. I loved the messages that their ninongs and ninangs gave plus syempre lolo ni Candy. Nakakatuwa. Pati parents ni Ryan. Grabe. Idol ko mom ni Ryan. Ang elegante! Tapos yung tatay ni Ryan, parang sya. As in nakita ko na itsura ni Ryan pag-tanda =) pati tawa pareho eh! Yung ipit na nakakaloka hahaha

Ok din yung sa paghagis ng flowers and sa garter kasi iniba nila yung style para nde yung nagkakahiyaan. Aliw. It was a fun night. Iuuwi ko sana yung mga pictures sa table pero nahiya ako hahaha

At sa pagmamahal ng mga kaibigan ni Ryan and Candy sa SG, umuwi sila dito sa Pilipinas. Saya!

Baby na 'to!

so many things going on right now and i dont know where to begin. i havent been updating my blog coz i've been absent from work for a long time and i would rather not use the computer when at home.

i applaud myself for being such a good good resourceful girl. hay i really have talent.

basta...magulo.

shala, wish i was there or you're hear. basta you take care always. love you!

waaaaaaaaaaahh kakainggit





dyan lang yan sa may QC circle hehehe

super thank you to shala for taking care of bart =) it was so nice to talk to you again. imagine, we talked over the phone for almost an hour and when i tried to recall what we talked about, i got nothing! as in! so most probably we did some panlalait and lots of laughing =)

don't forget to take a picture of you and bart!!!

i have a surprise for everyone pero next time na lang hahaha

i miss you so much and missing you more each day. sentimental. cheesy even but hey it's true. two more weeks of waiting. i know he's enjoying himself but he says it would've been better if i was with him. same here but i don't have a visa yet. maybe next time (asa).

so what have i been doing since bart left? wala lang. kain. tulog. meet up with my barkada. wala naman syadong iba. my officemates invited me to join them this weekend in galera but im not in the mood. maybe next time.

ryan, if you get to read this. ask naman candy if gusto nya naka-taas hair namin or naka-bun sa wedding. para i know kung magpapaganda ako ng buhok or nde =)

im super nalulungkot. wala pa ngang 24 hours since bart left, i feel so weird. as in parang...wala lang. i mean, we dont usually do anything on weekends. nood lang TV, pasyal kung saan, palinis ng sasakyan pero parang dami namin nagagawa. now, wala =(

nami-miss ko na agad yung mokong na yun waaaaaaaaah

oh well...life.

hey dami ko ng na-miss na kwento ah. hay gulo na naman dito sa pilipinas...GMA declared state of emergency. at habang lahat ay busy sa kung san-san, ako naman ay nagfee-feeling mowdel

(photos by JM Abania http://myownpixels.zoto.com using his 350D 50mm 1.0 lens)



and look at my baby!!!

hay so much to tell i dont know where to start...

soda gave birth to 6 pups last january 20 but at birth, we were only able to save three. the other three would've survived if only we were prepared. they came in a week early =( after two days, we lost another one then a week after...another pup. we're now only left with one baby which i believe will survive (his eyes are open now and he seem healthy). sayang noh? super nice siguro to have all six running around the house. it would be a mess but fun too.

bart is seriously considering putting up a water-eklat station. we'll put in in san juan (bahay namin) pero pinagaaralan pa namin coz medyo 300k to 400k ilalabas dun. not a small amount so we really have to be careful where to invest the money. sana maging OK nman lahat.

speaking of bart, he's going to the US on march 11. will stay there for three weeks. chicago then texas. he's hoping to go to LA but we're not sure if he could stay with nelson and his family for a week kasi syempre may trabaho din naman sila. he's got his ticket, international license, and some money. hay. mamimiss ko yung mokong na yun. the longest we were apart was one week. nun nagpunta sya china-hongkong december 2003 then nun nag-cebu sya march last year awww maloloka ako! all alone! sino sasama sa min ni soda going to the vet? sinong katabi ko magmuni-muni? sinong kakwentuhan ko pag weekend? sinong dadaldal sa kin habang nagdridrive pauwi? well...he'll be back april 2 and we have days, weeks, months, years to do all those things =)

btw, last sat i received a call from someone very dear inviting me to be a part of a very special day in his life. i am honored!

happy birthday ryan!!! (belated)

well my friend, you're old! ryan's one of the nicest people i've ever met. pareho kaming simpleng bagay lang eh nagpapaligaya na sa 'min. magastos lang ang mga gusto nya tulad ng mamahaling camera (dude, buy me a canon 350d!), celfone, atbp abubut. very responsible yan kahit ganyan tignan hehehe at higit sa lahat "macho" noon. tabachoy na ngayon eh hahaha miss na miss ko na yan =)

muah! muah! muah! you're the best ryan!!! galing sa heart ko yan =)

happy birthday ryan!!! (belated)

well my friend, you're old! ryan's one of the nicest people i've ever met. pareho kaming simpleng bagay lang eh nagpapaligaya na sa 'min. magastos lang ang mga gusto nya tulad ng mamahaling camera (dude, buy me a canon 350d!), celfone, atbp abubut. very responsible yan kahit ganyan tignan hehehe at higit sa lahat "macho" noon. tabachoy na ngayon eh hahaha miss na miss ko na yan =)

muah! muah! muah! you're the best ryan!!! galing sa heart ko yan =)

january 23 (sensya na, PST time buhay ko)

happy happy birthda to mama shala!!!

you know how much i love you. hundreds of miles cannot and will not change that. you have been through a lot and all i can say is that you deserve to be happy. you are a great daughter, loving mom, and a-class friend. im so happy i met you. i learned a lot from you and even if you're far from me, you never were busy in times that i needed you. words are not enough to describe how blessed i feel to have a "roselle casimiro-jones" in my life.

let's be friends forever, ok? muah!!!

hay...i have so much to tell, like what's happening with me everyday, and i actually can do it now even if am at the office. our mac G5 is outside the proxy so anything illegal that they blocked in our access is basically accessible (ym, friendster, blogger, download through limewire) as in the works but i haven't checked my friendster account for almost a month now and i dont update my blog daily (like before) so why? why? why? i dunno...tinatamad i guess

and i've been a bad girl. as in tamang nange-ngealam na naman ako ng mga eklavu. kaloka. anyways, wala namang masama talaga dun but it's just not something that a lady like me should do. tantataran!!! lady pala eh...

what pa? ayun...im so looking forward to soda giving birth by the end of the month. by now manang should lessen the food for soda. otherwise, the babies might be too big for a normal delivery. hello, wawa naman si soda kung ma-CS di ba? life. life. life.

so what's new my friends?

hi all! anong bago? we (bart and i) are really excited! soda is finally pregnant. we went to the vet last saturday for sam's follow up check up (he's got liver problem) and we asked the vet (our favorite vet, doc rico of pet bureau along del monte ave) to check soda's tummy which we thought was rather too big to be just fat. he touched the tummy and said "buntis nga sya" awww we're so happy! ayokong maudlot kasi something bad might happen again. we want to be super careful now. we'll wait til lumalabas na talaga yung mga baby. btw, si sammy yung daddy. we're proud parents and we're gonna be grandparents soon! aint that nice? my turn the next time hahaha

work has been crazy lately. im so thankful that i started with the new position last december when the work load is not it's usual kadamihan but things are slowly picking up so i better work hard otherwise, i'll be stuck with so many things to do.

hey, almost two years na ko dito! imagine that. for almost two years, puro umaga tulog ko except for two months last year when i was on maternal leave. life.

three great friends went home late last year but since i dont have a digital cam, i wasnt able to take photos of these people. ni nde ko nagamit yung camera sa phone ko. weird noh? sayang! next time promise...picture moments.

shala, uwi ka muna dito =)