i get disappointed easily and then i start questioning myself if im doing the right thing and if i should just give up everything. i dunno. the positive-thinking me is no longer there. im more on the pathetic side now. i dunno...sometimes...i just wish i didnt know some things kasi nalulungkot lang ako. im not perfect, not even close to being good but i do have pluses that others dont have only they're not that obvious and not the same as a pretty face or a sexy body. still i find means and reasons to make myself happy. i have to coz nobody else would do it for me. i got to talk to one of my classmates from college and told me that i've changed. it seems to him that i no longer am the happy-upbeat always-smiling person that i used to be back in college. back then i was surrounded by people who loves me, who looks up to me and appreciates the things i do for them. and that's the reason why i have such a positive attitude then. i still am like that in some ways but im more careful now...coz i dont want to be such disappointment for people who are close to me now. everytime i do something that's not good or if i've failed in some way, i immediately feel the effect. not like before when everything just passes by and and ice cream cone fixes me up. im at this point im my life that i feel nobody's there for me. and that if i fall bad...no one will come running to my side...is this midlife crisis? hello im only 23! weird. need to snap out of it...i just need to find someone who'll help me out of this deep shit.



oh life...and some pictures of me and my friends

You will marry Vic. With a man in your life who is
caring and gentle, get ready for romance and
lots of love.



Which F4 Member Will You Marry
brought to you by Quizilla





hahaha i knew it! bagay kameee mahal ko tong taong to. kahit na madalas nacucute-an ako kay ken pero sya kakaiba. sabi nga ng kuya ko "bat ngiti ng ngiti ng ganyan yan?" hehehe

there are things better left unnoticed coz once you find out about it, you get disappointed and you start questioning yourself again. you have two choice, you make yourself feel more unhappy by feeling sorry for yourself or you move on. it's always best to move on and remember...its not your loss.

eeekkk i realized i still owe bing and shala their blog templates sorry dears! hopefully come february i'll get to work on it. i still haven't finished mine either. haaaaaaay



random thoughts? none...i hardly think HAHAHA



we were talking about nicks/handles that people use when chatting or on messengers. exhanged stories on how we got our nicks (mine is babyjenkski...obvious ba?) dapat ako baby jenks lang eh...a character from anne rice's novel "vampire lestat" member ng band si baby jenks kaso i believe nde lang naman ako ang fan ni anne rice di ba so meron ng baby jenks kaya i decided to use babyjenkski na lang. aba sabi ba naman nila that i should change my nick to d_bitchfromhell ang bad bad nila noh! ewan ko...actually sabi nila bad daw ako eh. parang nde lalagpas ang isang araw na nde ko sila bwi-bwisitin HAHAHA wala lang dapat nick ko angel mas bagay!

eeekkk orlando bloom (legolas) is gay. he was wonderful as legolas in LOTR kasi pala he likes wearing pretty clothes and looking pretty. but that's just my opinion. still he really is gay. i have nothing againts gay people...actually i love them. pero super nakakapanghinayang lang. well i have my wonderful papabitch naman eh hehehe

naku forever na bang may war and romance here sa blog ko? anyways, i came across this webby (isa sya sa mga visitors natin ayan nagpost sa message board) and found out about bob ong's third book. goodness. sa sobrang tagal ko ng nde pumapasok ng bookstore eh nde na ko nakakatingin ng new books. i've always looked up to bob ong. isa ako sa mga loyal na sumusunod nung panahon pa ng www.bobongpinoy.com sayang lang at nawala yun. bing remember mo pa yung book ko na ABNKKBSNPLAKo? so hayun...last book i read was the catcher in the rye (kelangan ulitin) and disclosure. goodness. hayun lang...

hey it's papabitch's first day as sykes. ayun lost hehehe



monday again and feel ko na another week na super busy. wala akong masabi.

ang cute ohhhhhhhhhhh

i read from bing's blog na meron na syang special someone. i wonder if he's a filipino (nagkita na kayo ni mau? hehehe) or from another planet...i mean foreigner. shet. i can just imagine. bing can really look tough and masungit but i know deep inside she's a sweetie. i wanna know the name of the guy who, if im not mistaken, has finally captured the heart of this friend of mine =)



ryan and shala should have their own forum. my tag-board is not enough for their exchange of messages and one liners that usually makes my day. i love reading messages from you guys! ok now mushy...i dunno...i've always had this image of ryan and shala happy together. yihee aminin! ^{ok kill me now}



what else has been keeping me busy aside from 220 pending cases that i have? well there's this story of a povedan who committed suicide because of her boyfriend. dig this, she hang herself in front of the guys house and even texted him before jumping. so tragic. i thought that romeo and juliet's story was tragic...this one is disturbing. this happened november last year. so bakit ako nangengealam? coz my officemate asked me if i've heard about this eh syempre na-intriga i searched through google and found the blogs, journals and pbase accounts of the girl and her friends. her last entry on her journal pa nga was writen the night before she died. she's only 16 goodness! im busy reading her entries and her friends as well. a peek into a girls life...oh well.



friends, dont be like that ok? it's NOT SO WORTH IT!

grow old with you i love this song. as in. used to be my ring tone na kinikilig-kilig pa everytime i hear it then some chick sent a new ringtone napatungan yung grow old...life.



I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is grow old with you



I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you



I'll miss you

Kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold



Need you

Feed you

Even let ya hold the remote control



So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink

I could be the man who grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you

i am this ^{makes tiny symbol using fingers} to losing my mind. the product im handling is killing me or maybe im just really stupid. i love the product and appreciate its feature but why on fucking earth is it not working for other users!!! i only have like three products, the other two are for 3d animations and the users seem to be enjoying them (except for one version which is super heavy and uses a lot of your pc's resources). mother nature! i have 250 pending issues which i need to resolve before the end of the month and thank you to eastern telecoms for failing to deliver fast connection (just when i needed you most eastern!!!)



our intranet is down kaya nakapag-post ako...oh well life...

nagulat ako sa message sa tagboard ko whatthef*&%? anyway, baka naligaw lang sya. i was looking through some blogs and came across this one discussing the popular hairstyles over the years. sabi nya ginagaya daw ng mga tao yung mga sikat ng banda, before the beatles then bon jovi and now F4 hahaha natawa talaga ako complete with pictures pa. oh well...



i look so angelic today hahaha must be the white top hehehe













i like friendster hehehe nakikita ko yung mga long lost friends ko from highschool and college. may mga nagpapa-add na nde ko kilala so sorry pero scary kasi kaya i dont add them. pero astig talaga friendster =)



i left the pagudpud pics. sayang. ang ganda-ganda pa naman. next week promise



wala na akong makwento. daming trabaho but im not in the mood so malamang later na ko magstart after lunch



fiesta ng quiapo. yung brother in law ng boss namin na consul ng US is also celebrating his birthday today (tito paul bring me to the US!!! adopt me!!!) he wants to join the people in quiapo. he wants to hold the rope. ang masasabi ko lang...goodluck. he was thinking of wearing his diplomat ID but i dont think it would matter. everybody wants to hold the rope. hopefully walang masaktan this year.



nakow traffic ito for sure. ingat pag-uwi papabitch!

nothing much to say. im still not feeling well and staying up late then going out in the cold only deters my condition. my friends attended a wedding last sunday and then all looked so pretty wearing coat and ties (for the guys) and beautiful dresses (for the girls) i was supposed to go too but something came up. sayang. it would have been nice to dress up and everything then go to the parlor hehehe wonder who'll get married next para i'll get another chance to dress-up. babaw noh?



i cleaned my room last week and found some of the pictures that we took during our trips to pagudpud. i'll scan and post them here for you guys to see (and para mang-inggit) i wanna go back there....i wanna go to baguio but that is soooo not happening in the near future. gusto ko rin punta enchanted kingdom! wala lang. i wanna be a kid again, pwede ba? ika nga sa kanta ng sugar free "Don’t you ever wonder where all your happy thoughts have gone? In case you don’t remember we were peter pans for a day"



so many thoughts...



btw, bart accepted the offer of sykes. he'll start on the 19^th as admin supervisor. nice noh?

happy new year everyone!!!



i have so many kwentos but im not in the mood to write about it so next time na lang. every end of the eyar i go evaluating the things that happened and the lessons i learned from them. this year, i have so much to tell but...i'll just keep it to myself.



hey x hope you had a nice trip. nde mo na kami tinawagan =( pero ok lang. sandali ka lang dito and mas better nga na kasama mo na lang family mo =) thanks sa pasalubong!