i get disappointed easily and then i start questioning myself if im doing the right thing and if i should just give up everything. i dunno. the positive-thinking me is no longer there. im more on the pathetic side now. i dunno...sometimes...i just wish i didnt know some things kasi nalulungkot lang ako. im not perfect, not even close to being good but i do have pluses that others dont have only they're not that obvious and not the same as a pretty face or a sexy body. still i find means and reasons to make myself happy. i have to coz nobody else would do it for me. i got to talk to one of my classmates from college and told me that i've changed. it seems to him that i no longer am the happy-upbeat always-smiling person that i used to be back in college. back then i was surrounded by people who loves me, who looks up to me and appreciates the things i do for them. and that's the reason why i have such a positive attitude then. i still am like that in some ways but im more careful now...coz i dont want to be such disappointment for people who are close to me now. everytime i do something that's not good or if i've failed in some way, i immediately feel the effect. not like before when everything just passes by and and ice cream cone fixes me up. im at this point im my life that i feel nobody's there for me. and that if i fall bad...no one will come running to my side...is this midlife crisis? hello im only 23! weird. need to snap out of it...i just need to find someone who'll help me out of this deep shit.



oh life...and some pictures of me and my friends