to answer bing's question why ako lagot...kasi ganito yun...



last december, nag-bleed si soda. nde natuloy pagbubuntis nya. so nde sya pwede paliguan. since blood yun, nagbuhol na hair sya pwet nya. which is ok lang naman kung gugupitin. kaso nagkasakit din sya sa balat at may UTI pa ata. dinala ko si soda sa vet last monday para pagroom and for check up. when i went back to pick her up, KALBO NA SYA! as in goodbye shih tzu locks hello bare skin. lagot ako kasi nde ko masabi kay bart dahill maiiyak yun.



well nde naman na ko lagot. last night, hiniritan ako ni bart na palit muna kami. si sam muna sa kin and soda sa kanya. sabi ko "are you sure?" na mimiss na din daw nya kasi si soda. then sinabi ko na kalbo na si soda. nde naman sya syado nagalit...natulala lang sya for some time...natahimik...nde nakapagsalita. hayun. kawawa naman si soda.

its ryan's birthday on the 29^th but i dont have your snailmail address dear kaya nde kita napadalahan ng card. ikaw naman, mag-33 ka na matampuhin ka pa hehehe



anong bago? ako...lagot ako. as in super lagot!!!

naprapranin akow!!! hehehe



lookyyyy! these cards and letters are on their way to canada and the US. para sa birthday celebrant of the month na si mommy shala at para kay lola bing







syempre ako hahaha

wow. im happy to know that im not alone in this crazy world. im starting to think that am a bad person for putting myself first in front of my other responsibilities. will still be here to help my family but i guess everybody's right in saying that i should at least put a limit. guess i got carried away since i started working for macromedia. better salary so i thought why not extend my help to everyone but forgot about my needs. as they say, when you're sooo down there, there's no way to go but up. im thinking less now of my disappointments and instead, im being more thankful now for all the blessings, good things that's happened to me, and friends who never fail to lift my spirits up.



got news from my brother on my nephew's status. we all feared that it was meningococemia (which has claimed lives already and is still causing problems in baguio plus two cases in malabon) as the doctors saw symptoms of it but finally they said it was henoch schonlein purpura.



and oh...i've finally organized part of my yahoo album and have added some new photos. just go to http://photos.yahoo.com/jpcastillon. still got more pics to upload...will find time for it. and cheche, so nice to hear from you again. im still here in ortigas and i hope that one of these days, we'll find time to meet and have coffee.

2005. the year did not start well for me. lots of disappointments and lots of issues at home. im seriously considering resigning coz im not happy here but i need the money. i've used up all my savings coz we're having some financial issues at home. my 3 brothers are all married but they still depend on my mother for some support. its just a ironic and irritates me because i give part of my salary to my mother for bills at home and pati food namin araw-araw. ok lang naman sa kin yun kaso nga lang, 2 of my brothers lives with us (and their family too) and ako gumagastos dun minsan. nde naman ako nagdadamot kaso nahihirapan din naman ako. i should at least be enjoying what im earning right now pero nde ganun eh. like last week, my brother who lives in cavite had to rush his son to the hospital kasi nagkasakit. ok lang magbigay ako dun kaso wala na talaga akong money then nagpapatulong sila sa mother ko kaso wala na rin syang maibigay. imagine, kami ng husto yung namroblema. its not an issue of pagdadamot but more of their responsibility to their own family. since we all started working, its only me who's able to give support to my mom pero pag nde ko sya nabibigyan ng pangbayad ng bills pag kinukulang ako, parang nagtatampo sya. gusto kong sabihin na yung mga kapatid ko ni minsan nde sya tinulungan pero bigay pa rin sya ng bigay sa kanila. i graduated from college sakto sa taon and was even part-scholar for 4 years so they only had to pay 50% of my tuition, nagkatrabaho ako agad and nde na umasa sa parents ko. im the youngest in the family so i was kinda expecting na by this time, mas maganda na status ng family namin pero no, mas nahirapan ata. i really am depressed and halos nde makatulog when im at home to the point that my work's being affected. i would rather spend my time elsewhere. tapos sinasabi pa nila na mag-asawa na ko para wala na silang intindihin nde ko lang masabi that if i get married, wala ng mag susupport sa kanila. hay buhay nga naman. depression. life.



and oh...happy new year everyone.



still, can i say its not fair!