2005. the year did not start well for me. lots of disappointments and lots of issues at home. im seriously considering resigning coz im not happy here but i need the money. i've used up all my savings coz we're having some financial issues at home. my 3 brothers are all married but they still depend on my mother for some support. its just a ironic and irritates me because i give part of my salary to my mother for bills at home and pati food namin araw-araw. ok lang naman sa kin yun kaso nga lang, 2 of my brothers lives with us (and their family too) and ako gumagastos dun minsan. nde naman ako nagdadamot kaso nahihirapan din naman ako. i should at least be enjoying what im earning right now pero nde ganun eh. like last week, my brother who lives in cavite had to rush his son to the hospital kasi nagkasakit. ok lang magbigay ako dun kaso wala na talaga akong money then nagpapatulong sila sa mother ko kaso wala na rin syang maibigay. imagine, kami ng husto yung namroblema. its not an issue of pagdadamot but more of their responsibility to their own family. since we all started working, its only me who's able to give support to my mom pero pag nde ko sya nabibigyan ng pangbayad ng bills pag kinukulang ako, parang nagtatampo sya. gusto kong sabihin na yung mga kapatid ko ni minsan nde sya tinulungan pero bigay pa rin sya ng bigay sa kanila. i graduated from college sakto sa taon and was even part-scholar for 4 years so they only had to pay 50% of my tuition, nagkatrabaho ako agad and nde na umasa sa parents ko. im the youngest in the family so i was kinda expecting na by this time, mas maganda na status ng family namin pero no, mas nahirapan ata. i really am depressed and halos nde makatulog when im at home to the point that my work's being affected. i would rather spend my time elsewhere. tapos sinasabi pa nila na mag-asawa na ko para wala na silang intindihin nde ko lang masabi that if i get married, wala ng mag susupport sa kanila. hay buhay nga naman. depression. life.



and oh...happy new year everyone.



still, can i say its not fair!