13.12.21

Fangirl

Went to Tagaytay last weekend with fangirl friends ❤

What am I grateful for today?
I'm grateful that we got to watch the replay of Permission to Dance together 💜

3.12.21

Weekend

Time flies.

What am I grateful for today? (I think it should be yerterday hahaha forgot to share before sleeping.) 
I am thankful for last nights episode of Bad Buddy. It made me feel young and in love. Best feeling!

28.11.21

Starting Over

A friend told me he keeps an online journal just to document what's happening in his life and he makes it to a point to write somehthing he's grateful for. I thought it was a good idea so I installed Blogger. I basically have more than 10yrs of my life here so lets just continue with it 😊

What am I grateful for today?
I have reconnected with some people because of common interest (kpop, kdrama, Thai BLs, etc) and I'm so happy about it! We often chat and its just nice to be at least constatly talking to people since we hardly go out due to the pandemic. So yeahhh I am geateful for my fandom-friends 💙💜

11.4.16

everywhere, anywhere

A friend asked me how to delete here blog and it gave me the chance to login here again hehe I've been more loyal to Twitter and have neglected this blog. I just choose to keep it since it holds so much memories that I can't let go.

I'm in-between jobs right now. Recently left a financial company to move back to my comfort zone, CRM. It was a good 6 months with PW and would've stayed there if not for the craziness with management. But...all is good. I'm moving forward and will start my work as Implementation Manager on May 2.

Until then...

14.6.15

live a little

I understand that I am not the best person in the world and to some, I may come off as someone who's bad and someone they'd rather not be with.

But you know...I don't really care anymore. I don't care about what you're thinking, your opinion of me, and how your life is at the moment because it's something that would really define me. I've learned to live a much simpler life free of jealousy and ill-feelings about what could've been. I did not make a move then so I missed so many chances/opportunities. I've accepted that and have moved on. it doesn't mean that I've given up on life. It's just that I think its best to just live a little.

22.5.15

The first half of the year is almost over but I'm nowhere near where I aimed to be at the start of the year. Another setback? Yes. But I'm not giving up.

2.1.15

hello 2015!

i have one blog entry in 2014 which i hope to change this year. im happy to say goodbye to 2014 coz i was super bad and low then. this year...its all gonna change. why? coz i said so.

29.7.14

How I miss thee

I miss you my blogger! I'm so sorry I have neglected you for a long long time. I sort of want to re-acquaint myself with you (and my Livejournal Account). It's been months, even years since I last posted something here and it wasn't even a pleasant one.

A quick what have I been doing lately post...
1. I changed hats again. Different company, different system to implement, same job.
2. My babies are in big school now. Belle is in Grade 1 and Bon in Grade 2. Belle is 5 now and Bon is 7 (turning 6 and 8 in a few months time). I'm so proud of my little ones! They are the brightest and the best in the world!
3. I am now 34 years old. I started this blog when I was 21! 13 years already! We should have celebrated our 10th, right?

That's about it for now. I feel so sleepy already.

11.8.12

get out of my life!

My life. My choices. My problems. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your bussines. Mind your own problems before you talk about mine.

I get it that you wish to take over my role but please, stop spreading nasty things about me. Oh yeah they're true but what right do you have to make ridiculous comments about me? You don't know what you're getting in to.

10.8.12

sunshine after the rain

just a few minutes ago i posted something about giving up... then as i was back reading my posts from my livejournal account, i chanced upon this:

 When God calls you
to live for Him, He will invite you to be a part of
something much bigger than yourself, something that
requires the very best of you, something that
may outlive you. When God calls us to a powerful
vision, it may transcend safety and it may transcend
common sense because it is all about Jesus Christ.
Without Jesus, we will not make it!

Do we know, do you know, what God wants you to do
withyour life? If you are uncertain of God's will for
your life, surrender all your plans to Jesus because
God's plans for us are perfect.

The cancer in my body, I did not choose. But in God's
sovereignty, He allowed this affliction in my life.
But I ask you, what is the cancer in your life?

Is it the cancer of unforgiveness, jealousy, lust,
anger or bitterness that you are holding on to?
What are the wrong choices you continue to make
because they give you temporary pleasure but can
permanently destroy you -your husband or your wife or
your children or your circle of influence?

If you are going through a time of terrifying
darkness and despair, or are plagued by doubts that
are slowly eroding your hope that things can get
better, I urge you to surrender it all to God;
give Him full control of your life. It is the only
way to live.

Lord, forgive me for all my sins. Jesus, come into my
heart; be my Lord and my Savior. In Jesus' name, I
pray. Amen.

final

i am such a sucker for pain. been mistreated many times but i keep on hanging on the hope that in time i can fix this. but it seems that i can't because the people involved no longer wants to fix it. so yes, it's kind of final already that this is how my life is going to be.

i never had a plan b because i wanted plan a to work. it's not the case anymore. i need my plan b and even if it is such a painful thing to think of, it's the direction that we're headed.

did you watch the movie Equilibrium? i need prozium.

9.8.12

lots of lessons...

i like this story...


One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered," I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked,"please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

9.7.12

Ride home with you


Thanks for the occasional free ride home. It cuts off my commute time and of course it feels great to be riding home with someone. This could’ve been a lot better if we were in a better place/situation. How I wish for this to change soon. How much longer will we be like this?

Its past 6pm but I’m still here in the office. I should be finishing this task but I hit a roadblock so my mind is off someplace else. Brain doesn’t seem to work. Dead end.

There’s a Korean Grocery a block away from our building and it’s just in front of the building where my two college buddies work. Got some Melona ice cream oh so good! *intermission = Eeboy just walked in* I think I’ll be having lots of Melona from hereon. 

8.7.12

Sidelines

Two weeks ago, I met up with my friends (a Barkada for more than a decade and a friend from previous work) to discuss a project. I'll be doing the Help Guide for a Text App that they are developing. I'm really excited for this because I believe in their concept plus this means extra income for me. I tried doing this through Odesk but the thing is, it's kind of hard to get a job there. I tried many times but failed. I'm not giving up, though. I will continue to try that venue.

I'm able to do this now because I don't have a project here at work yet but I know in the coming weeks, we'll start working with the new client. Excited and scared at the same time since this is all new to me. 

So what else is new? Nothing much. Learning. Learning.

4.7.12

if only i could turn back time

the past two years has been such a big challenge for me, most specially last year and it has come to a point where i started asking myself...what now? do i still have a purpose in this life? why do i still live knowing that i am nothing but a waste of space?

we always say that some other people are going through things that are far worst that what we are going through that we should still be thankful. i am thankful. thankful that my family is ok, that my kids are growing up fine, that everybody else seems to be happy...but deep down inside, i am still empty.

i've always believed that we have a higher purpose in life. 

life may seem meaningless to us at times but not to those people who we influence or those who love us. this is what i hold on too. this is why i'm still here. this is why i am still fighting to survive. i'm not doing it for myself but for those who still believes in me, those who loves me.

2.7.12

raining rain

early morning hassle sa massel pagsakay because its raining (aren't they?). i left very early but took me some time before i got to ride a jeep then the bus later on. thank goodness for ordinary buses! i therefore conclude that gentlemen rides ordinary buses. this is not the first time i experienced it and even my friends have the same observation. oh well, at least they still exists.

training again. sleepy.

i guess the crazy girl was surprised to receive a DM from me in twitter and that i referenced what happened last sunday. yeah bitch, i know its your bogus account. so she deleted her accounts. thing is, i already took screenshots of her profile and her previous tweets. ano ko, tanga?

fun.

1.7.12

crazy people

a little busy with work. a little behind training coz i've been trying to go back to previous topics and set it up on the test account.

a few people in the office today. most are out on client call and some are at home working.

weird experience yesterday. there's this weirdo of a girl that i finally came face to face with yesterday. we were on our way to retiro for a late lunch then i noticed someone was calling. he checked his phone and yeah, it was the weirdo. he didn't answer the call then told me "she's the one driving the car behind us". my heart jumped.

we were in the santol-sta.mesa area. i noticed that she was intentionally following us and there was even an instance where she made a cut and almost hit us. we changed direction hoping to lose her but she followed then before we made the turn to e.rod, the girl intentionally hit us! man. crazy. and she had the never to say "anong problema mo" duh!!! she did not even think of her kid who was riding in the car with her. man she's such a weirdo. gusto ko na syang ipa-pulis!

warning. i know a lot of things about you so i hope you wont do something like that again or cause any further nuisance.

random...something nice about helping friends:

There are various reasons why people choose not to be there for others in need. Sometimes, people are selfish, self-centered.self-absorbed and are only interested in their own needs and interests. Sometimes, people would like to help but do not have the emotional or psychological strength and stamina to deal with the problems of other people because they are carrying so many of their own. (And by the way, even people who seem to have an easy life may be hiding a myriad of struggles that they do not feel comfortable sharing.) Sometimes people have been burned in the past and taken advantage of very badly when they've tried to help someone in need, so it makes them reluctant to repeat the same mistake. Sometimes people do not have readily at their disposal what it takes to help the person in need. Sometimes people do not help because they have feelings of inadequacy and are fearful of trying to help and failing or letting the person in need down. Sometimes, the fault is with the person asking for help, they are either not specific enough (just hinting around and expecting people to catch the hint), or they do not verbalize their need at all and expect others to just know they need help, or they ask more than they should and have greater expectations than they should. 
I do believe that we are our brothers' keepers and God wants us to willingly and cheerfully serve others who are in need. Unfortunately, we do not always do what God wants.

27.6.12

up and down

errrr still trying to find the correct buttons

my day was starting just fine then boom. a text, a call. it ruined my day and days ahead even. why do you always have to do this to me?

i had the chance to chat with a dear friend earlier and shared some news with me. good and bad. i'm surprised and at the same time, i feel sad. i dunno...it's a weird feeling. still, i'm happy to be able to have a short chat with my little-big-baby.

i need to unlearn whatever i learned before coz it's seriously affecting my training. i can't help but compare and look for certain features. i have this week to familiarize myself with how the system works then next week, i have a mini project to accomplish.

wish me luck!

25.6.12

first dat high

I just got reminded of how much I don't like the commute in the morning. Since we report to work at 7am, I leave the house before 6am. Traffic is still tolerable but there are so many people. I don't dare ride the MRT because I hate many transfers so I just take a jeep then bus going to the office. I have to get off in front of Robinsons Summit then walk a few blocks to get to our building.

I was surprised by the volume of people after office hours. So many people rushing to get home so its rather a challenge. Good thing I have another option on how to get to and from the office. Taking the Sta. Ana then Pasong Tamo route is a good option but so many transfers. About 5 short rides. At least I get to where I need to be.

The company I am working for has a small population here in the Philippines and with the nature of our job, most of the time, people are out. We do not have permanent workstations and everybody has their own laptops, so we can basically seat wherever we want. We can even occupy the conference room so long as nobody will use it. This will take a lot of getting used to. I need to unlearn the things that I have acquired while working for BPOs like break schedules (we don't have break schedules), daily login sheet, and others.

*singit* Hello Earl! hahaha he was surprised to see me here hahaha it's nice to see familiar faces and make new friends.

A former officemate, who also works here, mentioned that I need to unlearn the old system and embrace this new one. I will do just that! Promise! And Microsoft Certification is required so I better start learning so I can get myself certified.

So why am I blogging? It's actually 12:00nn. Office intranet is down (we survive on wifi) so I'm not doing anything right now. Just reading some sample documents that I will soon be creating myself. Nothing to do. I better enjoy this while it lasts because sooner, I will be very very busy. Choz! Also, this is a good practice. Will be writing a lot of documentation so I need to improve my writing skills. A friend of mine also mentioned that he might pass a project to me. It would be basically creating a Help Guide for the system their developing. I am up for the challenge and the extra cash of course is nice. I need that as well to put into my resume for oDesk. More extra income, the better.

Its already 2pm. Still no internet connection. I finished reviewing the document I downloaded earlier now I literally have nothing to do. Must keep myself busy but with no internet connection, I'm useless. Gah. I wonder if we can use the Wi Tribe ek-ek that we use when doing demo offsite. Dah! What happened to our internet?

4pm, no internet connection. What do I do? Nice to know a few people here at least there are people I can talk to and share previous experiences with. Discovering, meeting new people, starting fresh. I really hope that all works well. And oh, I was told we don't have an official time in/out and it's more of an honesty system. We just enter our time entry and that's basically it. Cool right?

Lots of things to look forward to. Lots of things to be thankful for.

23.6.12

brand new spankin' job

was jobless for exactly two weeks. now, i have a new job which was already mentioned in my previous post. a post created about 5 minutes ago. just making up for lost time =)

so what's new with this job:
1. day job - after working night shift for 8 years, i'm back to facing the daily traffic
2. not technical support - after 12 yrs of being part of the support, i'm moving to a different role now
3. business attire - ODK yes it's required since we sometimes need to meet our clients

this is all new to me but i'm so excited because i know i'll learn a lot and this is a good training ground for me! a friend told me that for sure i'll do well (thanks for the vote of confidence) since i enjoy doing presentations and that i like to do technical document writing. while he believes i'll do well, someone thinks i can't handle the responsibility. thank you dear for not believing in me. honestly, i am confident that i will do well here. if you did not see me do well previously, it's because i didn't want to step on your ego. it's more important to me before to ensure that you're the one shinning and not me. but not anymore.

job title: business analyst. i'll be in-charge of implementation. sweet. im really excited.

first day at work, i was asked to accompany our boss in a client meeting. i just got in the office, no orientation yet, basta go! it was a good experience. training while on the job. i was just asked to observe and pick out some pointers. it was nice. the rest of the day just blurred before me. but all is well.

now my schedule is 7am to 4pm. it's actually on the contract that i signed but as i was told, people normally extend or spend long hours in the office. afraid!

well at least now i don't have set time for breaks and lunch hahaha seriously, i have no problem with schedule adherance before and always take breaks on time. i just think its nice to be able to have the flexibility of declaring your own breaks hehehe so many people outside during lunch time! i now know so next time, i'll eat my lunch middle of the afternoon.

wish me luck! lets do this!